Grandma Dub…

People often tell me, “Toph, you’ve done some terrible things in your life.” I have to agree with them. I needed a way to change all the horrible things that I have done in my life, or at least cover it up. Call me a Catholic, but I needed redemption. As many of you know, I have moved from my sweet apartment in Dallas, and into an apartment in Richardson. And, as many of you know, I have quit my sweet job to do nothing at all. This was fun for the first week or so, but really started to get at me, you know. I was waking up at noon, playing video games and watching TV. I grew tired of the situation quick, but I am not quite ready to go back to work, either. I was sitting outside smoking the other day and noticed a large building across the street. I asked my roommate what it was and she told me it was retirement community. I knew then what it was I had to do.

The next morning I woke up and went across the street. I knocked on the first apartment and an old lady answered. She welcomed me in when I called her Grandma. She had no clue who I was, but who was she to turn away a grandchild? We talked all about her life and I really felt like I made a difference in her world. I asked her if she had her will and if it was ready in case of her passing. She said she thought it was, but didn’t have me in it. I smiled, and held her hands. I comforted her and said it’d be okay, as long as we went ahead and put me in it now. She did. I kept going from one old person’s apartment to the next, getting my name on every will each step of the way. I, then, came to a nice lady’s place and she didn’t seem out of touch. I knew I couldn’t tell her I was her grandkid, so I told her I was her new friend. Old people love new friends. As I was sitting in her tiny excuse for an apartment, I saw a bunch of pictures. I asked her who all these people were and she went into the lives of all of her kids and grandkids. Her daughter and granddaughter were especially hot. I asked her how often they visited and she said not too often. This made me sad. I was her friend and she needed her family. I went home with a heavy heart. I had to find out how I was going to sex up the daughter, and with any luck, her mom. I went back over the next morning and told Mary we needed to call them and invite them over. She agreed and made the call. When they came over they were awfully inquisitive about who I was. I couldn’t figure out why they cared, I mean it’s not like they spent anytime with Gretel, or Mary, or whatever and I threw that back at them. I was very gentle about it. I told them I was someone who cared for the most special person in their life. I was upset that they could have forgotten to visit so many times, and how I was simply trying to fill her void. They were in tears. I said that I should leave them alone with their dear departing and headed for the door. I assured Martha that I would be back tomorrow and left. Just as I hit the hallway the daughter comes out and gives me a hug. “Thank you for looking after Grandma Betty. How can I make it up to you?” We’ve been having the sex for 2 nights now, and I do not feel guilty about it. I mean, I have been looking after Grandma Betty, haven’t I? By the by, I’m in her will, too. I love old people.

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