HELLO! I’m Grandma Winters. My dear little Toph needs his rest. He is questioning his ability to make people laugh, so he went on Sabbatical for a month. You can call it recharging his battery. I call it sex with the alligators. He’s real stressed out, but he will be around to answer emails and comments. Until then, it’s all about me. I go by many names, Grandma Winters, G-Ma Dub, Original Skillet, Deep Oven, and Hova. You guys can just call me Grandma Sex Funk Dooby. I just want to tell you all a little story about a young man, a penis, and a dream. I remember back when little Toph was just starting to talk. He was so cute. YES! He wobbled up to me and climbed in my lap. He plopped down and said, Dub, how do you make it happen? He formed words so nicely. I said, “Little guy, I show the men my skillet and the throw their bologn at me.” I am responsible for the man you all know today. I gave him his first skillet. Her name was Frieda. She was special. She was a Mexican gal, and had legs that you could play tetherball off of. I told Toph, who was turning 5 that day, to walk over to her and just start humping her leg like a little dog. He was cute humping away at that los gatos. Little bluebird had no clue I had paid for her. It was sweet. Later he said, “Grandma, she was dumplins.” And she was! That night as I was reading him his bedtime Danielle Steel novel, his eyes started to close. I couldn’t help but to smile as her gravy was stuck to his little face. That was the night he was no longer called Little Toph. I don’t remember what he was called, but I think it was something like gravy noodles. I dont know.
Tune in next time as I answer all these questions that have been filling Toph’s mailbox. In an episode I call, Ask G-Dub. I love you all. We will have SEX! YES!
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