Move Over Stokke… Here Comes Lauren Collins

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We’re always looking for the next great thing and thankfully we may have found her. I mean can you blame us for looking? With Allison Stokke trying her best to stay away from all things fame, despite the rumor that she’ll be signing with Nike, we need the next hot athlete to carry the torch. What kind of torch? The torch of hotness and actual talent. Isn’t that what made Stokke a little bit hotter? It helped a lot that the chick was a great pole-vaulter, right? Then, her family turned on us, and left us wanting more. Well, I’m ready to move on… (not really Stokke… call me.)

Ladies and Gentleman… Meet Lauren Collins…

I stumbled upon Lauren while, and I’ll admit it, checking out one of Stokke’s results from a meet. Like I’ve said before, I became a fan of hers and wanted her to do well, and that’s when I read about this other chick in Southern California named Lauren Collins. She was special, and she was good. Currently, Collins is a sophomore at UC Irvine and she’s from Santa Margarita High School. It’s obvious that a chick that comes from a high school named after alcohol is destined for greatness, no? As Stokke was winning another National Record, Lauren was earning a lifetime-best 5-08 victory in the high jump, winning the 100m high hurdles in a wind legal 14.87 and winning her debut in the long jump in 17-01 (DyeStatCal). So, let’s see… 3 events, all wins or PB’s. Lauren is freaking good. Of course, in high school Lauren had All-State honors, because she freaking owns this state. There’s a myth going around that Lauren actually was the reason for Kobe Bryant wanting out of L.A. He basically thought that he wasn’t the best athlete in the city, and couldn’t handle it. Again, that may be a myth.

Now that she’s at UC Irvine, life continues to be amazing for this chick. New University Online states that, “This track season, Collins has been tearing it up. She was named Big West Female Field Athlete of the Week last week, the second time she’s received that honor this year and the third time in her career. And get this: she’s only a sophomore.” Oh yeah, New University Online? Get this: she’s freaking hot, to boot. Here’s the freaky part, though: Lauren is currently competing in 7 different events. “What you say?” NUO continues, “Yes, Collins is a heptathlete. She competes in seven events: high jump, shot put, long jump, javelin throw, 100-meter hurdles, 200-meters and 800-meters.” In high school I did the 200, 400, and 4×400. After the meets I wanted to vomit and have sex, in that order. I need to get down to Irvine and see which Lauren does. Mother of God that’s a lot of events. I mean, how do you have time in the day to practice for each? “I hated sitting down and waiting for events,” Collins said. “Track meets can be a bit boring. I figured I have two difficult ones down, why not try other events? That would keep me active and busy.” Well, that makes sense.

The best quote from NUO, “Unlike the people in the bus ride to Stanford, Collins’ opponents will be seeing her from behind.” Man alive, how can I be an opponent? Enjoy Lauren Collins. She’s hot and talented… I’m sure there’s more to come.

Here’s a cutsie little interview with Lauren Collins.

April 18, 2007

LAUREN COLLINS NAMED BIG WEST ATHLETE OF WEEK

IRVINE, Calif. — UC Irvine sophomore Lauren Collins has been named the Big West Conference female Field Athlete of the Week.

Collins set a new school record with 5,446 points in the Mt. SAC Relays Heptathlon at Azusa Pacific last week. She had marks of 5-10 in the high jump, 34-1 1/2 in the shot put, 18-5 in the long jump, 123-3 in the javelin throw, 14.43 in the 100-meter hurdles, 25.66 in the 200 meters and 2:18.89 in the 800 meters. Collins broke the 20-year old record that was set by Karin Grelsson with 5,367 points in 1987.

She is also UCI’s record-holder in the high jump (5-11 1/4) and she ranks sixth in the 100-meter hurdles (14.43).

This is the second time this season that Collins has earned the Big West award and the third time in her career.

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