Wow, 3 days left till I get married. Let’s keep pressing on. It’s funny, because ever since I started my Tophspeaks countdown, I’ve had the urge to run. No, not on a treadmill, I’m talking about Forrest Gump across the country type of run. I can’t believe I let you people talk me into this.
So, for the honeymoon you have to make both people happy, right? The girl needs the spa, the shopping and the relaxing. We, the important ones, need to sports, the outdoors, the ocean, the drinking and the sex. I came up with the perfect destination with a little help from my friends. On Sunday, July 15th, La Diabla and I will board a plane for a 36-hour flight to a tiny cluster of islands in the India Ocean called the Maldives. Now, there have been a few arguments whether it’s called Maldeeves, or Maldives, so I call it the Maldeedives. This place is phenomenal. I believe it was Ray who had mentioned it first, then Beau and Blake agreed. At first it was kind of a joke, because it’s not cheap, but I had decided it was worth it. So, we’re staying at the Baros Resort. The resort is an island, so that’s amazing. We fly out of DFW to SFO, from SFO to JFK, from JFK to London, London to Dubai, Dubai to the Maldives. A speedboat will get us from the airport and take us to the island. Yeah, a speedboat. Who needs taxis? When we get there we will both get Jetlag massages HERE, we will go scuba diving, snorkeling, have private sunset cruises, private dolphin cruises (where we’ll swim with them), sex, take a sea plane around the islands, shop on the main island, more massages, ride jet ski’s, and I am going deep sea fishing. Did I mention the sex? Also, we’re staying in an over the water bungalow, were we’ll canoe to where ever we want to go. It doesn’t get much more sex than this, does it?
Basically, if you plan on having a honeymoon, make sure that it’s far enough away where you won’t run into an ex, and that’s it’s cool enough to boast without thinking someone thinks less of you. I will have plenty of photos when I get back. Check this place out HERE.
photos from the site…
4 Comments
July 11, 2007 at 9:03 pm
WOW!!! This place is incredible!! I can’t believe it takes that long to get there, but I am sure it will be well worth it!! The beach is gorgeous (whitest sand and bluest water ever), spa looks unreal, and swimming with dolphins & jet skis on the waves!!! You guys are going to have a BLAST!!! YEA!!!!
July 11, 2007 at 9:15 pm
that’s the plan… i can’t wait…
sadly… my body is whiter than the sand. the burn will hurt for years.
July 12, 2007 at 3:13 pm
Holy crap! It would be worth marrying just for that honeymoon!
July 16, 2007 at 8:25 pm
Toph-
Hope the honeymoon’s great!
I go to the Maldives all the time and love them, so I’m sure you will, too.
Although, I’m not sure the locals will be able to handle the volume of noise coming from your cabana as you and La Diabla sex the days away.
Guess they’ll just have to get used to it.
By the way, I considered flying you both on my new Virgin airline all the way there. But you know what? Then, after you flew on it, I couldn’t call it Virgin anymore.
I’d have to call it Fucked-Out or something.
Actually, that sounds kind of sweet.
Wouldn’t you fly Fucked-Out Airlines?
I think I would.
The seats would be all soggy and cranky and the planes would fly bow-legged with a limp.
Anyway, sorry for the tangent. What can I say? You inspire great thoughts in me.
And boners, as well.
Much love,
-Richard XOXOXOXO
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